Source:  WorkVitamins

If I was ever to write a book, it wouldn’t about things like test driven development, design for test, or agile programming.  While those approaches are proven and practiced by many test development teams throughout the world, they have never existed in my world.  For me, I will write about the real world of testing.  I will write about the mouse traps in the hallways, the holes in the cubicle walls, and the smells in the elevators.  I will write about the empire builders, pretty mouths, and the wet willies.  I will write about the black bird that yells KAWK at me every morning from atop the office building, the Quaker who stands outside my bedroom window every night, and the half-blind 3D movie tester.

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)

The Test Monkey Rides a Greyhound

Source:  Patent Place USA

Several key company employees are gathered in a room to hear Amy, the HR manager, announce a new policy regarding travel.

[HR MANAGER AMY]:  God forbid that we all die together in a plane crash.  So we have a new company policy that restricts us from travelling together in the same vehicle. When I say vehicle, I mean plane, train, bus, ship, car, whatever…

[CEO STEVE]:  How are we going to arrange this?  We have an important trade show to attend next week and all of us need to be there.

[HR MANAGER AMY]:  We hired an on-site travel agent to handle the arrangements. Betty?

[TRAVEL AGENT BETTY]: Thanks Amy. It’s really quite simple.  Steve, since you are the CEO, you will have exclusive flying rights to the company’s air shuttle.  Diane, since you are the head of marketing, we will book you first class on any major airline.  Tony, since you are head of sales, we will book you first class on any airline too, but not the same airline as Diane.  Finally, Robert, since you are the head of research and technology, you too will have to travel separately.  We are well aware of your fear of flying so you have first choice of any alternate mode of travel, such as a first-class train, limo, rent-a-car, etc.  Amy, you will have priority tothe company car.

[TEST DEVELOPER JOHN]: Excuse me.  What about me?

[HR MANAGER AMY]:  Who are you?

[TEST DEVELOPER JOHN]:  John.  I am the test developer.

Travel agent Betty begins searching her itineraries for John’s name.

[TRAVEL AGENT BETTY]: John, John, John…oh, yes, John.  Here we go.  We have you listed here.  You will be traveling with the greyhound.

[TEST DEVELOPER JOHN]:  Oh, you mean I will be taking the greyhound bus?

[TRAVEL AGENT BETTY]:  No.  You will be traveling with the company’s mascot, Sparky the Greyhound Dog.

[HEAD OF RESEARCH AND TECHNOLOGY ROBERT]:  That’s right, John.  We patented a special monkey harness that fits the complex, narrow framework of a greyhound dog.  Since you are test monkey, we figured that this is the best way to test the invention before it goes to production.

[CEO STEVE]:  We are talking billions in potential revenue.  Billions.

[TEST DEVELOPER JOHN]:  Ok.  I’ll do it for the company.

So John rode around the country on the back of a greyhound dog, testing the monkey saddle.  John thought he was doing the right thing.  He later learned, however, that the whole job was nothing more than a practical joke.  The dog was even an insider to the joke.  The dog left John for dead in the bowels of Death Valley several miles north of Highway 190 sometime around noon.  The moral of this story is never trust people who want you to test a monkey saddle on a greyhound dog.  Testing 101.

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)
 

What is White Box Testing?

Source:  The International Obfuscated C Code Contest (Hines)

[QUESTION]:  What is White Box Testing?

[JOHN’S ANSWER]:  First you ask me about black box testing, then you ask me about white box testing.  Why don’t you just call it white trash testing?  Why can’t this world just get along?  Why do we need to judge boxes by the color of their cardboard?  It’s all about character, not color, I say.

[CORRECT ANSWER]:  It’s testing something that you expect to work in a certain way and have detailed knowledge of how it actually works inside.  A good example would be gaining access to the programming source code of a product that you are testing.  A tester may identify potential bugs and vulnerabilities in the product by reviewing the source code.  Without such access, these problems would be harder to find.

[JOHN]:  Oh, I see you what you mean.  The code above is a great example of what you are talking about.

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)

What is Black Box Testing?

Source:  Kansas Geological Survey, The University of Kansas

[QUESTION]:  What is Black Box Testing?

[JOHN’S ANSWER]:  It’s testing a box that happens to be black.  I really don’t why people keep asking me this question.  How complicated is a box and why does is always have to black?  Is this a racial thing?

[CORRECT ANSWER]:  It’s testing something that you expect to work in a certain way, but have very limited, if any, knowledge of how it actually works inside.  For example, you could be a genius mathematician given the job to test a calculator.  You press the right keys and you get the right answer in the display.  You know that it’s the right answer because you calculated the same problem by hand with a pencil and paper just to make sure.  You don’t need to know anything about the circuitry inside the calculator to determine whether the calculator works.

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)

Blowing Chunks at Lunch

We like to have lunches for new people who come our way.  We like to have lunches for people going away.  We like to have lunches to make people stay.  We like to have lunches that we don’t have to pay.

I’ve been going to a lot of these lunches lately—some are for new hires and some are for those about to retire. People leave a job for many reasons—perhaps a free lunch is one of them.  Lunches are a lot like funerals.  You can tell who cares about you by the number who attend.  If the lunch is free, then more people will show up.  If funerals serve free lunches, then more people will show up too.

I once worked at a company that took me out to lunch when I first started.  Unfortunately, working at that company sucked.  I now refer to that lunch as my last supper.  It just goes to show that there is no free lunch working for people who are out to lunch.

Digg This
Reddit This
Stumble Now!
Buzz This
Vote on DZone
Share on Facebook
Bookmark this on Delicious
Kick It on DotNetKicks.com
Shout it
Share on LinkedIn
Bookmark this on Technorati
Post on Twitter
Google Buzz (aka. Google Reader)
 
Page 1 of 212

Random Site Quotes

Testing is three monitors, two hands, one brain, and zero respect.
© 2009-2011 TestDeveloper.com
Powered by WordPress
Content provided by John L. Whiteman and his Slam Carrot Long Ears Gang