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[MANAGER]:  Reno, I need to talk to you.  Do you have a second?

[RENO]:  Sure.  I just finished configuring my work laptop to be used as a torrent server for illegal content.  I’m already getting several thousand hits.  I think I’m going to need more juice though because of the company’s internal squeeze-down pipes.

[MANAGER]:  Reno, where were you last week?  Weren’t you supposed to be back from your three month spring vacation over a week ago?

[RENO]:  Yeah, but didn’t you get my mail?

[MANAGER]:  You mean e-mail?

[RENO]:  No, mail.  I sent a letter to you the week before I left telling you that I was going to be late getting back from vacation due to an unexpected family emergency.

[MANAGER]:  Listen, Reno.  I’m going to cut to the chase.  Your performance on our test team has been lacking merit to say the least.

[RENO]:  Because I missed a few days?  I’m entitled by law to those days, you know.

[MANAGER]:  Yes, I know, but I’m not taking about just this time.

[RENO]:  What other times?

[MANAGER]:  I’m tired of you calling in every week telling me that you are going to miss work for some cockamamie reason or another.  You come in late, you take extended lunches, and you go home early.

[RENO]:  Whatever—I still kick butt when I am here, right.

[MANAGER]:  No, Reno, no.  You rarely finish any job I assign to you, but when you do it’s usually months behind schedule.  Your teammates are always forced to pick up your slack.

[RENO]:  Wow! I’m getting the third degree from you today.  I knew I should’ve taken this week off.

[MANAGER]:  It’s all about teamwork, Reno.  It’s about a sense of pride, a sense of accomplishment.  As a test team, we can’t function as a group of individuals going off into different directions doing our own things.  We need to bond as a cohesive unit.  Teamwork is about less me and more we.  Do you understand what I am saying?  Do you?

[RENO]:  Huh.

[MANAGER]:  I like you Reno, I really do.  And I know that you may not like being a tester.  I understand that.  We have a tough job to do.  It’s unrewarding at times.  Management sees us as a necessary evil and developers see us as retarded engineer wannabes.  There is no respect, but I don’t give a crap about what they think.  I care about the quality of the product.  I care about the customers who buy the product.  I want them to be happy.  I want to make them proud of us.  Don’t you see the beauty of what we do here, Reno?  We are literally making the world a better place one bug at a time.

[RENO]:  Huh.

[MANAGER]:  So what d’ya say, Reno—are you onboard with us?

[RENO]:  Yeah.  That’s sounds really good when you put it that way.  I’m going to have to check that out.  It’s a lot of data to chunk in my mind, but I think I understand.

[MANAGER]:  That’s great, Reno.  I’m really happy to hear that.

[RENO]:  Oh, I was wondering if I could take the next week off.  The store that I bought my new refrigerator at is delivering it to my house.  The problem is that they need to order it from the factory so I am not sure of the exact time it will arrive.  I just need to be at my house when it does.

Reno’s manager smiles at Reno and gives him permission to take the time off.  Reno’s manager then walks back to his cube.  He unlocks his top desk drawer on the right side and pulls out a fully loaded Desert Eagle pistol.  He pulls the trigger, a shot is fired then a deafly silence fills Reno’s manager’s cube. Reno is later promoted to manager.